


better

by orphan_account



Series: psycho [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Character Development, Crying, Developing Relationship, Kissing, M/M, Mental Institutions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-19
Updated: 2013-12-19
Packaged: 2018-01-05 03:28:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1089066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is starting to get a bit better, and Harry sticks around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	better

**Author's Note:**

> this one is much better than the first.  
> still not great though, I tried.  
> There's still no smut I'm sorry next one I'll try my best.

"H-Harry?” the older boy stuttered out “What are you doing here?”

 

“I see you got my books.” Harry smiled, walking over to the small desk admiring how warn they were, Louis had read them each at least seven times over.

 

“It was you?” Louis cocked his head like a small child.

 

“Of course, didn’t want you to be bored in here.” Harry smiled, Louis shook his head a few times, he knew he was still considered ‘crazy’ but this was too much, too confusing, he didn’t get it and he felt like crying the more he thought about it.

 

“Wha—“ he felt his throat close in on itself and made an effort to clear the block with no avail “What are you doing here?” he asked shakily, Louis sat on the edge of his bed, he knew his eyes were wide and his mouth slack, he probably looked insane.

 _You look the part then._ His subconscious spat making him flinch at the harshness of himself. God, he was crazy.

 

“I came to see you obviously.” The younger boy sat beside, but not right next to Louis, testing the waters.

 

“But why?” it came out too fast and Louis instantly regretted it, it’s not that he didn’t _want_ Harry here, he just honestly didn’t get why Harry would want to be here. “After all I did, why would you want to see me?” he corrected himself.

Harry was silent, his teeth grazed his lower lip in what Louis assumed was thought, it took a while for the younger boy to think of an explanation other than that he just wanted to see him. Louis sat patiently, fiddling with his hands that remained in his lap as he waited for Harry to speak up again.

 

“Um, I dunno really, I’ve been coming here a lot actually.” He shifted his body to face the smaller boys, “I’d come in twice a month maybe more and ask Sandra how you were and once I saw you in the commons. Um, I guess you had free time or something and you were playing piano and you looked happy.” Harry laughed at himself quietly, “Well as happy as you could be in here I guess, you looked better.” He smiled; Louis was in shock, how could he not have seen Harry? Why was Harry checking up on him? His mind spun with it all. “I really wanted to talk to you, make sure you were okay and they were treating you right but they wouldn’t let me. So I started leaving books, I remember in your apartment that big bookshelf was piled with books, so I figured you’d like them.” Harry looked up at him grinning sheepishly.

 

 "Thank you, I-I did, thank you" Louis felt himself flush his voice shaky.

 

“My pleasure, Lou. So you good? They’re not electrocuting you, they’re feeding you proper, all is good then?” his eyes were a screaming green Louis hadn’t really noticed before; he felt his throat swell again.

 

“Uh yeah all is good, I’m getting better with my um, feelings, I guess. I have underlying issues though, developed obsessive compulsive disorder after talking through everything with my psychologist. My brain doesn’t work proper, it needs a task to compel it, to long for me to complete, if that, um if that makes sense. Except now instead of...” Louis paused cringing at the word he was about to say, he lowered his voice, whispering taking away a bit of the blow. “ _Blood_ , it’s um its cleaning?” Louis dropped his gaze, ashamed he couldn’t just get better and live like a normal person.

 

“That’s amazing Louis, really. Like one in seventy psychopaths recover and only three percent of that move on to lead a normal life, OCD isn’t normal per say but its better Lou. Its livable, many people have it and go on to live normal lives, its good, don’t be ashamed okay?” Louis met Harry’s green eyes and matched his shy smile with one of his own, nodding slightly.

They just sat there and looked at each other for a while; Louis admired the milky skinned boy in front of him for the first time in four years. He was pretty, so very pretty, his lips where a deep pink and framed his smile wonderfully, his eyes were deep and truthful and Louis felt a knot in his stomach form and settle itself tight. They were so caught up in each other they didn’t notice Anita knocking, or opening the heavy white door.

 

“I’m sorry Harry but you’ve got to head out now, we’re serving dinner so all the patients need to wash up.” She smiled weakly at the two sets of eyes boring onto her almost sadly.

 

“Right, uh, it was good seeing you Lou.” Harry smiled standing up and walking towards the door.

 

“Harry wait!” he rushed over to the green eyed boy noticing only now he was a full head if not more, taller than Louis, “will you- will you leave books? Still? Will you keep leaving me books?” he couldn’t help the childishly hopeful stare he had on the boy, Harry smiled.

 

“Course I will Lou.” He turned to leave again, Louis couldn’t let him go, he didn’t want to let him go.

 

“And!” Louis shouted before he grabbed Harrys arm spinning him back around, “and you’ll come back right? To visit me?” he shuffled his feet, not caring how desperate he sounded, he liked Harry, a lot more than he should and he didn’t want to wonder if he’d ever see him again, he wanted to know he would.

 

“I’m going back to college tonight, it’s about two and a half hours away but I’ll be back for a bit next month, I’ll see you then. Be good alright, get nice and healthy for me.” Harry leaned in closer and for a second Louis thought he was going to hug him so he shifted allowing the weight of it, waiting, he nearly squawked when he felt the younger boys lips on his in a chaste kiss, Louis didn’t even have time to process it let alone kiss back – which he wanted to so, so bad – before Harry was pulling away smiling as he turned the corner exiting his room with a giggling Anita.

 

~

You wouldn’t exactly be exaggerating if you said Louis counted the days down till Harry was expected back, or that he traced his chapped lips over and over making them raw the first week after the kiss, or that he dreamt of curly hair and green eyes every night. It was now a week into February, Harry was expected to be back mid-way through the month and Louis grew more anxious each day that went by.

 

“You need to relax Louis, it’ll only make it that much longer till he’s here if you dwell on it.” Anita spoke quietly to him.

 

“What if he found some pretty thing at college? One that’s not crazy and locked up for twenty to life. What if he doesn’t like me anymore now that he’s got the world at his fingertips.” Realization hit him like a ton of bricks and he choked on a sob, “Worse what if he hasn’t, what if he’s still hung up on me not experiencing life because he’s too worried about his twisted mental case waiting back at home. I’m ruining his life aren’t I?” Louis shook with the intensity of self-loathing he was consumed by, he couldn’t help it.

 

“Now you shut up about that!” the elderly woman raised her voice snapping Louis’s attention back to her. “He’s still sent books hasn’t he? The last one he wrote an entire damn paragraph about how much he missed you, he’s not out fooling around with someone else.” She motioned for Louis to stand, he complied weakly. “And it’s not your choice if he’s still hung up on you. Hold this.” She passed him his pillow while she stripped the bed of its sheets, replacing them with new ones. “You’re not wasting his life if he decided to do it, you’re a great boy Louis, you’ve made mistakes, bigger ones than most but that wasn’t all on you. It’s not your fault you were born the way you were and it makes me proud you lasted 22 years before you finally broke. It’s not all on you, he decided to get you help, he decided to check on you, to send you books. He made the decision to come here and visit you all on his own, he decided he wanted to kiss you Louis. You’re not making his life hell if you’re so clearly making him happy.”

 

Louis stood frozen on his spot, tossing his pillow numbly on the newly made cot.

 

“y-you think?” he stuttered feeling tears prick behind his eyes, Anita noticed and rushed her tiny plump body over to him hugging him tightly.

 

“Yes dear, I truly believe that boy is stuck on you, Louis, how you deal with that information is up to you but just know you hold that boys heart.” She kissed his forehead lightly before ushering him into bed then tucking him in tightly, just how he liked it despite the fact he awoke every morning snuggling a pillow with nothing more than a sheet over him.

 

“Thank you Annie”

 

“You’re welcome Lou, sleep well.” With that she shut off the light and closed the door leaving him to think himself to sleep.

 

~

Louis had bad days sometimes, just like any normal person, except Louis’s bad days weren’t really _his_ considering he blacked out completely, usual soft bubbly personality replaced with that of a cold hearted _killer_.

He’s asked what he’s like on these days, worried when Anita stayed at the door to say goodnight instead of tucking him in, Sandra would avoid eye contact at all costs. Louis’s handlers knew better then to repeat the vile, blood curdling threats he spewed, they knew that once he finally made it to the showers despite a very strong fight that they must clean his room, place everything back the way it was because more often than not a scolding hot shower would bring their Louis back. What they weren’t expecting though was for Harry to show up during one of his tyrants.

 

“Hi Sandra, how’re you today?” he smiled at the woman before noticing she wasn’t paying attention to him at all, her gaze was stuck to Louis’s door. “Sandra?” a loud crash came from behind the heavy white door that grasped Harry’s undivided attention “What’s going on? Where’s Anita?” he tried one last time before hoping over the short metal gate that wasn’t meant to keep the public out, but let them know they needed permission before going back, this caught Sandra’s attention.

 

“Harry no! You can’t go in there!” she shrieked he could tell she was scared and that just pushed him further, he ran up to the door where he heard muffled shouting, unable to make out anything due to the soundproof qualities of the room. He pushed it open roughly breath hitching at the sight, Louis’s room was trashed to say the least, the older boy was only in a pair of pajama bottoms, holding a lamp in one hand and Anita’s throat in the other.

 

“Louis! What are you doing?” The younger boy shouted fear taking over him, Louis turned to face him revealing the darkness of his eyes, they weren’t blue anymore they were dark, they weren’t Louis. The older boy dropped the lamp, releasing Anita who merely stumbled for a moment before reaching out for Louis.

 

“Harry you need to leave, he’s not himself today.” She said calmly her voice came out in a rasp.

 

“No do stay, you’re pretty you know that kid?” Louis seethed, Harry couldn’t help the shake that quaked through him, no one had called him kid since that night four years ago. “I’m Louis, you are?” he raised his eyebrows seductively, Harry’s breathing hitched.

 

“You don’t know who I am?” He couldn't help the broken crack in his voice.

 

“Not a clue, would you like to get better acquainted love?” Louis’s hand darted down to the crotch of the younger boys pants, rubbing roughly. Anita darted forward slapping Louis hands away, Harry's mind instantly dazed he couldn't decide if Anita's actions were to his dismay or one he was thankful for.

 

“Louis you need to stop, this is Harry, you know Harry, he’s your friend.” Anita tried but he just laughed thickly before turning and releasing the boy.

 

“Please you old hag I don’t _have_ friends. Never was the friendly type but if Harry here wanted a good fuck I’d be all for it.” He winked at Harry, the younger boy felt sick, not because he didn’t want it, although he’d never admit he did, but because Louis didn’t remember him, he thought he was alone.

 

“Louis please, please come back to me, I’m right here, please.” Harry begged eyes wet, the older boy stiffened and walked back up to Harry, he opened his mouth to say something only to be silenced by Harry crashing their lips together, the slotted together perfectly despite Louis’s new found stiffness. Harry just kissed his lips repeatedly, tears forming wanting nothing more than to have Louis back, his Louis. Harry pulled back abruptly when he heard a quiet sob from beneath his lips as Louis’s lips started to purse kissing back.

 

“H-Harry?” he whispered confusedly coming out of his suppressed state.

 

"Lou.” Harry laughed wetly wiping his eyes a bit “You’re back.” He smiled.

 

“What happened?” he asked violently trembling, Anita coughed interjecting.

 

“He needs a shower, a hot one or we’ll have a repeat of this in a few minutes.” She directed her speech solely to Harry who nodded.

 

“Go on, I’ll wait.” He whispered before kissing the confused scowl off Louis’s face.

 

~

 

“Does that happen often?” Harry whispered, the sound of the shower echoing through the corridor he stood in with Anita.

 

“No, we call them dark days, his eyes just lose everything kind and he turns into this monster. It’s not who he is at all.” She assures him but Harry already knows. “He only ever comes out of it with a hot shower; I nearly went into cardiac arrest when he came back for you.” She whispers, Harry’s small smile grows a smidge “once he is back though he doesn’t remember a thing, don’t tell him what he did it’ll only trigger it again, Sandra’s in there cleaning up the mess so just act…normal.” She smiles at him.

 

“What would he have done? If I didn’t come in when I did?” he asks voice lower than before assuring only Anita heard. “Would he have, um, have hurt you?”

 

“I don’t know, it’s never gotten that far before.” She answers honestly “He was worked up because he thought you’d forgot about him and something just snapped. That’s not him though, he’s a sweet boy.” She says absentmindedly rubbing her neck, Harry smiles sadly down at her.

 

“I know.”

 

~

They were back in Louis’s room, his hair still wet when Harry couldn’t help himself, he reached up and placed both his hands on either side of Louis’s face, he brought their lips together softly feeling everything from the way the older boys’ cupids bow fits between his lips perfectly to the way Louis whimpers when Harry licks his bottom lip before allowing their tongues to dance along together.

 

“I was gone when you first came wasn’t I” Louis whispers when their bodies are pressed together in Louis’s small cot, Harry tracing circles on the boys arm comfortingly.

 

“Only for a bit yeah.” Harry answers simply moving his hands up to rest in the older boys hair.

 

“Why didn’t you just leave, I know I turn into some monster or something.” He sighs and Harry’s sure his heart aches for the boy.

 

“You could never be a monster Lou you’re too pretty.” Louis laughs lightly when Harry kisses his nose. “And I’d never leave you no matter how tough this gets.”

 

“You should.” Louis stiffens then sits up, for a moment Harry lets himself worry he’d lose him again but then her sees the older boy tremble, Harry places his hand on Louis’ back before sitting up and snaking his arm around the older boys waist. He pulls on Louis till his tiny body is curled up between his long legs, Harry absentmindedly pressed feathery kisses into his hair.

 

“Never, besides you came back to me didn’t you?” Harry whispers into his hair.

 

“I guess.” Louis turned still in between the boys thighs but now they were facing each other. “Yeah I did.”

 

“You did.” The younger boy smiled leaning in to press their foreheads together.

 

“I’d always come back for, my beautiful boy.” Louis lets slip out and before he can back track and apologize Harry’s lips have captured his again full of so much emotion Louis nearly chokes on it.

Louis doesn’t think getting better would be all that hard with Harry, his boy, with him.

 

 *not the end*

**Author's Note:**

> again thank you to taylor (@curlypeen) Victoria (@arcticniall) for putting up with me through this, this one was a fast write so I wasn't that bad.  
> and thank you to tabbi (@tinylouis) for convincing me to write the second part.  
> There will be more soon. :)


End file.
